Updated: May 16
You decide that you are ready to go out there and meet the person of your dreams. You are determined, focused and energized. You have taken steps to clear the way of obstacles, negative energies and thoughts. However, you forgot to do the most crucial and necessary step. YOU forgot to introduce yourself to YOU. YOU forgot all about the most important person in any relationship you engage in...... YOURSELF. Many of us haven't learned to know ourselves and most importantly...to LOVE ourselves. How can we go out into the world, ready to meet our soulmate when we don't even know who we are? Too much of our time is spent running around like a chicken with out a head trying to do everything and anything without stopping and asking ourselves the tough questions. Searching within to know "who" we are and what we want out of life. We spend too much time engaging in self deprecating behavior without even knowing it. How can we be expected to see the things we want in other people when we can't recognize the things we love about ourselves.
As women, we are faced with conflicting messages from the time we are little girls. Many of us grow up in Ethnic households that praise and celebrate the uniqueness of our cultures, skin colors, languages and physical beauty. But some do not. I have a dear friend who confessed to me that since she was in elementary school she has been on a diet. She described how her mother would ridicule her chubbiness and her father would beg her mother to "leave her alone" and let her be a child. Can you imagine being over the age of 50 and realizing that for the first time in your life, you accept yourself for who you are and that you spent most of your life trying to mold yourself to "someone else's" view of beauty? Our society increasingly sends messages that tell young girls and women that you must change something about yourself to be "loved". That being a curvaceous woman with a voluptuous body that matches a voluptuous personality is not necessarily beautiful. That being a smart and assertive woman is NOT acceptable. As a result, many women feel unworthy of love and allow themselves to "settle" in relationships. Their poor self-concept allows for the attraction of abusive and negligent suitors who degrade and suppress them.
I believe that a good portion of these "poor" relationship choices permeates among us because WOMEN do not know themselves. They couldn't tell you what type of books or movies they like, what types of food they like, what makes them happy and what makes them sad. Many women can't tell you if "they are happy". This is all because they don't know and love themselves which results in bad relationship choices, which then they stay in, acquiescing to the likes of their partners because they are fearful of being rejected. It is a vicious cycle.
I want to help you start your process of CHANGE. Let's begin with introducing yourself to YOU. To help you know how beautiful, fabulous and phenomenal you are. ARE YOU READY TO MEET YOU?